Move Slowly: How to Move Through Divorce Financially
If I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be this: move slowly through divorce. That may seem impossible when you’re in the throes of one of the most painful life transitions. The pain invites us to act irrationally, to make short-sided decisions, or to simply, give up. I encourage you, when you are in the thick of it, to take a breath and take a beat.
First, take stock of your financial assets. Often when splitting assets, women choose what makes them comfortable: the house and the car. But in many instances, there is significant wealth tied up in stocks or small businesses. It’s important that you proceed slowly and analyze all of your liquid and hard assets before finalizing any sort of split.
You will also want to move slowly to make sure every unknown is assessed. There are many questions you will need to wade through with your former spouse before making any final decision. Some of these questions include:
How do we split the equity in our home?
Is alimony/spousal benefit taxable?
Should we split our debts in half?
What do I need to consider regarding my credit?
What are the future implications of the assets?
While you are sorting and splitting assets, take stock of your support team as well. Who is in your corner during this process? Obviously, friends and family and a solid therapist will help alleviate emotional stress. But a well-rounded support team covers all the bases including your financial health. Many people going through a divorce look to an attorney for financial guidance. An attorney is an important addition to a great support team but a family divorce attorney could have a costly impact on your long-term financial health. Move slowly, and consider consulting with an accountant or a financial advisor who is well-versed in (the various modes/ways finances can be stored).
Finally, if a divorce takes over a year, it takes over a year. This doesn’t mean you have to live with your ex. A marriage is like a business. It’s a partnership, truly. If you dissolve a partnership, be it business or marriage, it SHOULD take time. And if you need any assistance during this period in your life, let me know.